I wasn’t sure if I’d ever join such a group: my long road to diagnosis made me settle slowly into the idea that I probably had multiple sclerosis. I wasn’t hit over the head with a drastic flare-up and suddenly changed: there was a slow progression with attacks increasing in severity and duration over the past 11 years. When I was actually diagnosed, I was going through a downward spiral of ever-decreasing employment and an uncertain future of disability benefits / no satisfying career. The last thing on my mind five years ago was to join people face-to-face and keep from bursting into tears.

My mom and I actually once attended a seminar (given by my honorable neuologist) for newly-diagnosed patients. I was in such a slump at the time and I could barely move my limbs as I shuffled, mid-relapse, into the meeting where pharmaceutical reps hawked their wares—pens, writing tablets, mouse pads, water bottles, fanny packs— and a nurse handed out a poem about what MS was akin to: believing you’re going to fast-paced, glamorous Paris and being rerouted to Bavaria. Both are great, but different. And the subtle beauty, slower pace, and depth of Bavaria becomes “the road less traveled.” Well then and there I burst into tears and made my mom get up so that we could leave. I think I might have frightened all the NEWBIES! I can laugh about it now, but at the time I was too neck-deep in my own concerns and depression and anger to want to share with others or be a source of comfort and understanding for the rest of the group.

Since being diagnosed, I’ve finalized my disability case and have found a steady– albeit slower– pace with satisfying volunteer hours, a class or two, and some freelance writing work. Things have stabilized both physically and mentally. I’ve gained insight from a social worker and have made strong bonds with online support networks. And yet I’ve had the ever-increasing need to meet others in person to support, be supported, educate, be educated, laugh with, and occasionally commiserate with. The craving to be in an ongoing group setting where I can steadily grow with other MSers. Little did I know that this need would be met with a local in-person support group through the MS Society. And that I would learn about it through a fellow classmate on Facebook. Life is STRANGE.

I joined the group in November of 2009 and we had a Tai Chi instructor (a patient’s mother) who gave us simple poses and breathing exercises to incorporate into our daily routines. We also spoke of Thanksgiving recipes and what we do for the holidays. In December the group met at a Chinese buffet and we spoke about the new concept of CCSVI. Was it a lark or would it get further research? And then this past January we met and just talked for two hours– no instructional demonstration or specific agenda. Just talk. NICE. And I have to tell you that because I’ve become emotionally and physically ready to face my fears, I have been met by a bunch of people laughing and kvetching and sharing and educating and not ONE moment of it has made me want to burst into tears.

*** For more information about MS support groups in the United States, visit the Nat’l MS Society and the Multiple Sclerosis Foundation.

Okay– I realize this title and photo are a little convoluted. Yet it’s so true: in order to stay positive, fulfilled, and mentally agile, one needs to maintain an ACTIVE life (despite having multiple sclerosis.) This doesn’t mean running marathons or even working full-time. It merely means that patients must find ways to thrive and remain true to themselves even in the midst of health changes and setbacks. And I’m the first to admit that it’s HARD.

I’ve found myself in a couple of slumps over the past five years (post-diagnosis.) Downgrading to part-time work– or no work— can make one feel like less of a person. It definitely knocked me for a loop: did I ever imagine that I’d have to drastically slow my pace in my thirties? My perception of myself went from being an active health professional to that of a sick, barely-contributing patient. And no matter what loved ones told me, the blows to my ego— not financially providing for our household, not having a meaningful career, accepting others’ condolences and assistance— became a heavy burden at times.  It STILL smarts on occasion, but things have picked up in the past year.  I would never have believed that mental “convalescence and rehabilitation” could take so long. Except I’ve now experienced both and have just emerged, dignity and self-respect intact, on the other side. Here is what I’ve gleaned from the experience:

It is OKAY to work on your mental health

Sanity is not always a given. Uncontrollable circumstances can– and will– rip apart the fabrics of our peaceful, predictable worlds. Seek out the emotional help (whether through support groups, individual counseling, or online support) to stay active and in the game.

Find things that challenge and activate your brain

Keeping mentally active is key to having an active, fulfilling life with MS. It’s so easy to become stuck and set in comfortable habits. But it’s better for overall health to seek new and challenging mental pursuits: new word games, classes, new hobbies, new friendships. Find that which makes you excited and joyful and creates a daily mental expansion.

Seek the support of experts: life coaches

These individuals can assess your needs and what you can incorporate into you life to be more involved with your community, your family, work, volunteering, and so on.

Set ONE manageable goal and work on achieving it

I had so many ideas rattling around in my brain, but I found that when I focused on ONE plan, some of the other ideas naturally fell in place with it. And then setting the next goal became that much easier.

Seek out others who cultivate your desire to be active

This one can be tricky. It’s mentally healthier to align yourself with others who want to thrive (whether they have MS or not.) But thankfully some of the most challenged people also have the greatest drives to succeed.

Accept imperfection and persevere

Things will go wrong. Illness will likely return. Failures crop up. But the definition of courage says it all: “the ability to move ahead even though one is afraid.”

Get Your Rest

Not only do you need to get a good night of sleep, but it’s a good idea to plan for a nap whenever possible. As fatigue is one of the most common symptoms associated with MS, you don’t want this to overtake you. Getting your rest is also a good idea to help with other symptoms such as muscle pain and stiffness. So whatever you are doing or wherever you are heading for the holidays, be sure to plan for some much needed rest. This can allow you to still enjoy yourself and time with loved ones, but not let MS get the best of you.

Avoid Unnecessary Stress

Though stress isn’t good for anyone, it can cause the symptoms of MS to become much more difficult to cope with. If you suffer from MS, it’s a good idea to avoid stressful situations. Any stress that you feel can make the pain associated with MS much more severe. Stress can also inhibit your ability to rest well, and this can cause a downward spiral with all of the symptoms that you suffer. Learning to manage your stress and limit your worry or concern can be a helpful tactic in coping with MS, particularly during the holidays.

Keep with Your Treatment Plan

Even if you’re planning to travel for the holidays, it’s important to keep up with your treatment plan. Take your medication as prescribed, as this is one of the most important aspects of living with MS. Be sure to pack your medication and don’t miss a dose as it can result in symptoms flaring up. If your doctor has you involved in some sort of physical activity, do your best to get it in even if it’s in a modified manner. It’s important to be diligent about keeping to your treatment plan. Though the holidays can be packed full of fun activities and it can be easy to forget, sticking to your treatment plan is essential at all times.

***Mary Ellen Ward blogs about how to choose among LPN to RN degrees.

It’s been a bit of a crazy week here at the Jersey shore, and so I’m posting a catch-all of latest news. Hope this finds you well and happy:

Joan’s Next MS Chat Room Session: This Friday, Oct 23rd

Come enjoy a Halloween party with Joan and her fellow chatters. The session is from 7 – 9pm, Eastern Standard Time. All are welcome, and more info and login instructions are available at her blog A Short in the Cord……… Joan’s chat is THE BEST!!

Glenn Close’s Mental Health Website

I learned about this site just this morning, as actress Glenn Close and her sister Jessie told of Jessie’s long battle with bipolar disorder on ABC-TV’s The View.  Having struggled with depression since multiple sclerosis altered my life course, I am a HUGE advocate for mental health and bringing knowledge to the forefront. So many people hide their emotional problems because of embarrassment/shame, misunderstanding, and doubt. I seek the ongoing help of a social worker and a psychiatrist— I take an antidepressant— and I want to pass this helpful site on to you and anyone else you might know who is afflicted by emotional illness. There’s help and support: www.bringchange2mind.org

MS Strength has Reached its (First) Goal of $100 in Ad Revenue

It’s taken over a year, but MS Strength has reached the $100 threshold needed for Google to pay out ad revenue. 100% of the profits will be donated to the National MS Society (the U.S.), who has a high priority of using funds towards MS research. The thermometer is set back to $0, and the next donation will be made at the next $100 threshold. Thanks to those who helped the thermometer rise; it feels great to take this money and donate it to our MS cause. A future post will tell about the actual donation, as I am currently waiting for Google’s check.

A New Website for MSers Which Chronicles 5 Patients’ Journeys and Distributes Information about Disease-Modifying MS Medications

I, along with 4 other MS webwriters ( Lisa, Julie, Kimberly, and Bill) have been hired to video blog our multiple sclerosis stories—along with personal journal entries— at a new website sponsored by EMD Serono, a maker of one of the current disease-modifying MS medications and a future MS medication. The site focuses on our stories and it also provides drug information to those who subscribe. As a HUGE advocate for newly-diagnosed patients learning about and trying disease-modifying medications, I’m proud to have been tapped and I feel myself helping others to weigh their medication options, no matter what the brand and the final decision. Thanks, EMD Serono, for allowing the 5 of us to accomplish this: www.howifightms.info

A Local Piece of News About Officials “Spinning Wheels for a Day”

This story caught my eye— I found it at the Nat’l MS Society’s FB page. Interesting, and it gives those in charge a chance to see what others with adaptive devices must navigate on a daily basis. I doff my hat to you, fellow resident Jackie Jackson: The Star Ledger’s Oct 15th Middlesex County News

I have to admit that my feelings about my status quo change almost daily. No matter how much I try to rope in my moods and put on a mask of gratitude, I most certainly do not FEEL gratitude every waking moment. Just the nature of the MonSter I suppose.

I’ve become acutely aware of my feelings over the past several years and I notice a pattern: I go through cycles of low-level depression/anger every couple of months. It’s a vicious loop, but I imagine it just goes with my personal situation: being out of the workforce at the tender age of 38. I am not feeling sorry for myself or asking for sympathy, but merely acknowledging how I feel. Feelings ARE legitimate and with multiple sclerosis (or any other chronic illness) they can and WILL fluctuate, depending on the circumstances of the day. So I feel the low simmer of anger today as I sit here and feel underproductive, underutilized, and definitely underpaid! Where went that career I was promised in my early 20’s?…

A lot of days I DO NOT feel angry. I feel downright blissful and productive and appreciated. These are usually the days when I leave the house to volunteer or be with family and/or friends. Full days that remind me of how I used to be. Today is no such day. I need to self-start and motivate myself to study for a class test (I’m taking a psychology class which I do, in fact, love.) And some days I find this very tricky. I have also been sending out job inquiries with little response. So I stew….. I try to explain this pervasive feeling of anger / depression to others who don’t have MS and I don’t think I’m fully understood. The anger stems from a lack of utilization. I am like a slightly older toy, sitting and waiting for use because I am still mobile and physically viable, just slightly slow and gently worn. Under the right conditions and with a little care, I can work and be useful.

Here are some things I’ve found that really burn my Bunson:

• I look at my years-old clothes in my closet, and I wanna bag everything up and bring it to Good Will. But I haven’t any extra money– because I’m underemployed— to buy a new winter wardrobe. The same holds true when I wanna pitch all of my old housewares/bedding/linens and I realize my money’s already spent.
• I see some able-bodied person landing a journalism job outside of the home and I wish it was me.
• I make contacts for new writing opportunities and I hear nary a response! This one REALLY singes…
• I haven’t a grasp of where the day will go— too much free time— and I long for a no-brainer schedule.
• I KNOW I should be making a reasonable living as an educated, full-fledged adult and I am NOT.

Now I admit that a lot of this anger is trivial, but that’s the way it is. Some days are just not the “full-of-gratitude, I’m-successfully-fighting-my-MS, I-won’t-let-this-condition-ruin-my-mood” sorts of days. Nothing wrong with that. The feelings are honest and they too shall pass. But they are real and they have a right to be acknowledged.

]]> http://www.msstrength.com/ms-today-i-feel-angry/feed/ 14 http://www.msstrength.com/ms-what-will-the-neighbors-think/ http://www.msstrength.com/ms-what-will-the-neighbors-think/#comments Mon, 21 Sep 2009 18:53:55 +0000 Jen http://www.msstrength.com/?p=2896
I’m remembering back when I lived with my friend more than a decade ago. She had a townhouse and was very mature: she also had a stable job, a mortgage that she financed on her own, a pet, a decent car—okay, she was 8 years my senior so it made perfect sense– but what I most recall about my time there was the family next door. A husband and wife in their thirties with a young son. We often spoke to the husband and saw the boy playing out in the front or back, but the wife was rarely seen. My housemate finally told me that the wife had multiple sclerosis.

I’d heard of MS and what it meant long before I developed it. Although before I began displaying symptoms, I had some preconceived notions about the disease. Don’t most people? Seems that to REALLY grasp the ins and outs a person might have to live with multiple sclerosis. So at that point in time the disease was still shroud in some mystery. Were people quickly disabled? Were there effective medications? And this neighbor barely left her home. I was a bit confused.

On Halloween one year, we (me being immature and dressed like a ghost and my housemate looking like a woman in her 30’s with a young trick-or-treater) stopped by the neighbors’ home and this woman came to the door. She was a bit slow, but she displayed no other signs that revealed her chronic, debilitating condition. And she was NICE! I don’t recall if I ever spoke with her again during my time in that townhouse. I am very close with my friend who still lives there, and she told me fairly recently that this woman declined, possibly because she had no outside or online support networks or helpful treatment options, and so her husband and teenage son moved her into an assisted living center nearby. This broke my heart: if I had known how isolated she was, and that I too would eventually have MS, I could have done more. But what do we really know about our neighbors behind closed doors?

When Bill and I moved to our home about 5 years ago, we immediately met some of our neighbors. The ones diagonally across the way were quiet and childless, like we were. The guy next door was also quiet and worked nights. I still find myself talking to him over our backyard fence in the late afternoons. Our next door neighbor was elderly and scattered, but clean and pleasant. The neighbors across the street seemed very friendly and outgoing and I found myself bonding a bit with the wife. She worked in social services. I decided to reveal my illness to her and no one else.

During a time of extreme stress a few years ago– I was beginning a disease-modifying med, in the midst of a severe relapse, and I had just lost my job— I remember my friendly neighbor calling to me from across the street to make sure I was okay. Thank you, I thought. I needed the interaction to feel less like an isolated housewife and more like a part of society. I was often by myself in MY house and I wondered what the other neighbors could possibly think about a young woman home day-in and day-out with no children.

It was about this time that I began to observe my neighbor’s husband, who was legally blind and used a stick to get around the yard. He was amazing! I didn’t pry into the reason for the blindness. Did it really matter? I would often see him ducking into a cab in the morning and returning later in the day. He was getting out and living his life and I vowed that I would follow his example. Being unemployed and on disability did not give me a license to sit back. I was well enough to still get out and contribute to society (although the recent bout with double vision gave me a healthy fear of getting back into the world.)

Very recently I spoke to my neighbor about an issue and we got on the subject of emotional counseling. I revealed to her that I saw her last name and address on my health insurance provider’s list when I was looking for a therapist to deal with my MS a few years back. I had no idea she was a clinical psychologist. She paused and said, “Jen, my husband is the psychologist. He sees patients on a regular basis during the week.” At this point my resolve increased ten-fold. This man, my neighbor and whom I knew so little about, was treating patients while at the same time coping with a serious disability. He would venture out into his yard, stick in hand, with what looked like little regard for what the neighbors thought. He sat on his porch and listened to National Public Radio. I even saw him jump in our river last summer and swim without any guidance.

I now know there is something within all of us–MS or not—that is indomitable and can thrive despite some of the roughest challenges. It is within me and it is also within you. And really: who cares what anyone else thinks!

My non-MS friends see my condition from another perspective: as among one of the challenges our group faces. My good friend was recently diagnosed with lupus, and so she lives with a new perspective and she has completely changed my view of my own condition: I am not the only one with ongoing problems and this knowledge opens the door from a lonely, isolated existence to one of similar understanding. I’m so glad for this. A couple of my other friends face ongoing addiction problems and so their understanding is a bit different but nonetheless helpful. One does not always need a duplicate perspective to empathize. My sister-in-law gives me the biggest laugh when our bowel difficulties— she has the autoimmune condition ulcerative colitis— act up. Two people with very different personalities can still enjoy the spoils of a shared perspective.

In terms of the world at large: I never want to imagine that my multiple sclerosis is any bigger than the dot that is our planet within our solar system, within our galaxy, within the entire universe. The perspective of Earth from a million light years away is imperceptible. In space and time, my disease is but a blip on the radar. Back here on Earth I’d rather worry about the two recent American journalists who were wrongly imprisoned in North Korea. They certainly have bigger concerns than I do. Or tread lightly when I read Eli Wiesel’s Night, and know that I am safely tucked in at bedtime. These grave views throw my own perspective into perspective.

How do doctors view this chronic condition called MS? Do they fully sympathize with patients, or do they merely look for scientific evidence and concrete solutions? Would the perspective of an MS doctor afflicted with cancer change his demeanor towards his patients? I shudder to think of that multiple sclerosis doctor who absently treated me, all the while looking at life from his own distorted angle. And yet I didn’t see life from his exact perspective (and how could I?) I am now able to indulge him his inaccuracy. As for the people who represent those with multiple sclerosis: can we come to a shared, mutual perspective? Will we ever agree on the same values, needs, priorities, and programs? Can you— will you?— ever see through my mind’s eye? Will I ever know your true intentions and hopes for a world free of MS? I cannot currently see through your lens.

Will my own image of multiple sclerosis change? Well, sure. Everything changes and angles slant and rotate. Nothing is ever exactly the same, nor should it be. The knowing is all: I set my lens wide for perspective and deep for understanding.

I’ve wrestled with identity problems for the past five years or so, as I stopped working in my fast-paced health career (radiology) and began searching for part-time, low-stress work. I’ve had the advantage of my husband’s income to keep us from having to move in with one of our sets of parents, but in today’s world there are always more and more monthly bills, taxes, and unexpected medical expenses. So the advantage has in no way been an excuse for me to sit back and do nothing. To this day we still need whatever I can contribute (social security payments et al), and then some. I always wonder about stay-at-home moms (or dads) who elect to do this.

The search for my new career— and therefore a big piece of my identity— has been ongoing. What can I realistically do? Will I have to settle for something “just to pay the bills”? In the past (pre-social security days) I did online customer service work to help us stay afloat. But I like the right to the “pursuit of happiness” that lies within our Declaration of Independence. I’m an independent, career-minded girl who wants to pursue something fulfilling and joyful. My quest within the past five years has led me to part-time library work, which has made me so happy and fulfilled that I’ve questioned why I ever became an ultrasound tech in the first place. Like finding the perfect mate: there is a seamless fit. But because of my own long relapses, maintaining the identity of a library staff member has become all but impossible. In the past year I’ve returned to a volunteer status with our library system. It’s much safer, both physically and emotionally. I can live with it because I still identify as one who makes a difference in this public service realm. That’s what’s so great about libraries: there are few boundaries between the ranks.

On the home front I’ve sought writing opportunities, since writing is one of my biggest passions. I’ve identified myself as a part-time freelance writer who specializes in health topics. Seems to encompass my areas of interest and experience. But lately I’ve found myself looking to branch out into other areas of writing because, to be honest, I’m burning the candle at both ends with the health writings: this site and and the MS Life column. I love both, but I don’t want to soley identify myself as an MS writer, much as I don’t want to soley identify myself as an MS patient. So I’m now in active pursuit of non-health writing work. It’ll come; I just need to be more patient.

In my personal life I have a hard time identifying with non-MSers. In my safe little haven I can imagine that I’m normal and can do everything everyone else can, but when I get out into the world with those who don’t think twice about having kids or careers or non-stop days, I am sorely at a loss to identify. Reminds me deeply that I have MS and that I am at home, tenaciously looking for my own purpose. In the same vein, I cannot always identify with other MSers because we are all so different in backgrounds, disease statuses, and present situations. Although I have an easier time relating to this second group of folks. We have the common thread of navigating the frightening neurological unknown.

I haven’t a clue whether I’ll identify myself as a mother, as a successful and fulfilled writer, or as a personally-fulfilled MS patient in the near future. The road is long and winding and all aspects of life are never completely identifiable.

A few years ago I found that my MS was becoming more of a burden for my loved ones as well as for myself. I was missing out on so many ordinary things: work, family outings, time with friends, holiday get-togethers, and so on. Plans were constantly being modified or cancelled. One of the biggest ramifications was the loss of my driving abilities for eight weeks when I had to rely on family members and friends to get me to my job and take me to run errands. And the loss of a steady income caused my husband and me to accept financial help from others. Tough break and it all weighed heavily on my mind as I tried not to feel guilty about all the trouble my multiple sclerosis was causing in my life. I began therapy around this point and learned a few valuable lessons about guilt. I wrote this article a couple of years ago for Suite101.com, and the information still holds true today:

“Multiple Sclerosis Guilt”

A very real and harrowing side-effect of multiple sclerosis is guilt. Those with the disease feel it for a variety of reasons: they can’t do all the things they once could, plans often have to be cancelled due to the condition’s unpredictability, people don’t understand the “silent” symptoms and consider MSers lazy, and the list goes on. On the flip side, those who are affected by someone with MS harbor their own guilty feelings, often because they feel helpless or punished by the disease’s effects. Reality checks as well as coping strategies can counteract needless bad feelings.

The first form of guilt, something the MS sufferer contends with, can manifest itself for various reasons. People with multiple sclerosis can have a very slight to rapid decline in mobility. Whatever the level, bad feelings can emerge because the patient finds himself or herself less capable than before. Even a small decline reminds a person that he or she might need other people’s help for what seem like simple tasks. A big problem that stems from the unpredictability of this disease is the guilt associated with cancelling plans. It is so hard to keep a normal schedule when MS rears its head whenever it wants. Multiple sclerosis sufferers worry that others “just won’t understand.” Another problem is that silent symptoms, or those only apparent to the sufferer (tingling, heat sensations, pains) can make the person with MS appear lazy because they look fine on the outside. Perhaps the hardest guilt-trip to get over is the question, “Did I do something to cause this disease?” A lot is still unknown about multiple sclerosis, including its definite origins.

Caretakers, family, and friends are no less sabotaged by guilty feelings. They are upset that they cannot do anything to stop MS. Helplessness breeds guilt. It is difficult to watch a loved one deteriorate, even a little bit. While watching this happen, another sort of guilt can set in: family and friends are fine, while the multiple sclerosis sufferer is being attacked by his or her own body. This is much like the emotion felt by a person who is spared in an accident, while someone else is badly injured. Maybe the secret guilt of being angry with an MS sufferer is the hardest to bear: limitations and burdens caused by the latter can breed resentment on the loved one’s part.

Guilt needn’t be an out-of-control emotion. Sometimes a reality check is necessary. Regardless of the levels of disability, both multiple sclerosis sufferers and their loved ones need to realize that this disease is life-altering. There are not always quick fixes and problems are to be expected. People can learn to stop beating themselves up over uncontrollable circumstances: coping strategies for everyone include therapy and/or support groups (both in-person and online) to learn techniques for dealing with MS. A great way to find in-person support is to contact a local hospital. Depending on the level of disability, a person with multiple sclerosis can gain the support of occupational and physical therapists (for better independent functioning), friends and family, and spiritual groups. Family and friends can do the same by accessing caretaker support groups as well as at-home care for their loved ones. As some say, guilt is a wasted emotion, and controlling it is a wise step towards overall better health. Find out more about guilt derived from chronic illness in the article Guilt in Autoimmune Disease by Elaine Moore.

Are you an MSer? Are you reading this because someone you know has multiple sclerosis? Do you work with someone who has it? Well, there are many factors that can positively or negatively impact a person who has this illness. I’m talking about stuff above and beyond the usual symptoms, frustrations, and limitations that the disease imposes. Outside things come in and shape an MSer’s reality, view point, and overall experience with MS. We as a population have such varying degrees of the disease that sometimes it’s hard to completely relate to one another, let alone with non-MSers. Throw in outside and unseen stressors and sometimes it is as though we are all from different planets (which of course we aren’t, but sometimes it seems this way.)

As someone within the MS community, I try to analyze a situation with another MSer as something that is incomplete: I don’t have the entire picture of that person and I don’t want to make hasty judgments because I have not walked in that person’s shoes. If you are also an MSer, you can probably relate to the following negative and positive impacts. And if you love someone with MS, this may shed some light on what a person with multiple sclerosis deals with above and beyond their condition and how it impacts them, for better or for worse. Helping to foster positive situations can be a gift to yourself or your loved one.

Of course these lists are not exhaustive….

Negative Impacts

• Being overworked: Having MS and needing to work because of financial needs can sap the stamina of someone who already has a limited energy supply. The same holds true for an MSer who has too many daily demands. Both situations cause a great deal of stress, fatigue, and worry.

• Not being in the workforce: On the contrary, being out of work can feel demeaning, depressing, and confusing. Msers face the challenge of making meaning out of a very unstructured, slow existence.

• Financial problems: MS can be the source of this, but it isn’t always. The loss of a spouse’s job or a new or ongoing financial burden can be weighing heavily on a person with multiple sclerosis.

• Relationship problems: Not having a partner to help with the stress and decisions of MS can be very taxing. So can having the wrong partner, having family animosity, or having problems with friends.

• Other health issues: So many MSers have problems on top of their disease. MS isn’t the only illness and dealing with other problems such as depression, migraines, arthritis, other autoimmune disorders, cancer, a heart condition and so on can try a person’s emotional stability.

• Family health issues: The families of MSers get sick too. Aging parents who need extra care and medical attention, spouses or partners who have their own health issues, and children who have health and/or learning problems can challenge MSers to stay focused and calm.

Positive Impacts

• Steady, nonjudgmental love: Having family and friends who love and care for a person with a chronic illness can bolster them and help them to stay positive and less stressed. It motivates them to help themselves and take care of their MS.

• A safe, quiet place to oneself: Everyone wants to feel calm and sane throughout the day. Having a “room of one’s own” can make someone with MS feel calm, rational, and able to cope with life’s difficulties.

• Enough money to live on: Having enough income to live modestly but happily can make all the difference between being a stressed and upset multiple sclerosis patient and a calm, grateful one.

• An occupation or outlet: Everyone needs to feel useful, wanted, and vital. Sometimes with MS this becomes a big problem, as abilities change. MSers need to have something important and worthwhile (yet not overwhelming) to do with their time.

• Help from others: This includes forms of support from other MSers, counselors, and help from family and friends. An MSer can thrive, even in the face of adversity, with a little help and encouragement. And the reduction of stress can certainly bring about positive change.